Yet again I got quite nervous and didn’t prepare till the last minute for an event I was taking part in this week.
On this occasion I was correct to be nervous as the venue I was attending held very significant memories for me AND the event was specifically aimed at celebrating and supporting carers in our locality.
I never saw myself as a carer for Rob my husband who passed away just a few short months ago. Other people did however I didn’t. In my book the synopsis written about me at the end says that I have what psychologists call unconditional positive regard. Simply put I always have an ability to meet everyone at the place they are at in their lives; don’t judge; and quite simply don’t see the differences someone may have.
My local pharmacy group waited a year to approach me to become their ‘patient ambassador’ and since yesterday I am beginning to see why they asked me.
Our first project together was to prepare for the carer’s fayre. We worked together well as a team and it came to me that I wanted to share my book with as many people as possible on the day.
Armed with my ‘water damaged stock’ I had the ability to give each carer a copy and write a personal message. Some were a bit taken aback at being given a gift BUT by the end of the day a lady came over and said a group of people were gathering and sharing their thoughts on the beautiful gift book they had been given. She said she really wanted one for herself.
So it went from people being almost suspicious of being ‘given a gift’ to people receiving the gift I was giving with an open heart and mind.
You see I never want anything in return for sharing the gifts I have and yet it is priceless. A rare and beautiful thing.
Probably the most significant thing I did yesterday was to connect with one of the visitors to the fayre. I thank my book for this because it connected us on a very deep level.
She knows her body is dying. She is on constant oxygen therapy and at times simply can’t breathe.
You may remember that the fayre was FOR carers and the thing that interested me was that she has been fighting against being ‘cared for’ because she has herself been a carer and nurturer all her life.
She is nor scared of dying but IS terrified of the pain it will cause her loved ones.
During our time together I explained her feelings were natural, HOWEVER she could maybe see this in a different way. Maybe the time she has left on earth she can finally receive the love and care from those around her.
She shared with me that she wants to die at home, however she didn’t know if this would be fair on her family and loved ones. Again I explained that if that was her wish and she was comfortable with that, so would her loved ones. Simply put if she was happy they would be happy.
We also laughed together as well because the Manor Pharmacy group support her and I guessed over the years she had one 1/2 of the stock and we had the other!! (my husband needed a lot of medication and equipment each month delivered by the lovely Phil). The lovely Lauren apparently always puts a smiley face on her boxes of tablets she dispenses weekly. I wish I had known about the boxes as it would have saved me so much time dispensing Rob’s cocktail each week!!!
My blog is slightly longer than normal because of this amazing lady. Hope you think she was worth hearing about – she was certainly worth meeting.
Julie’s question of the week:
Who do you need to tell how special they are to YOU?
Date for your diary:
Julie welcomes you with open arms through the doors of ‘A New Dawn garden room’ for a bit of Support, Friendship and Fun: Thursday 29th July 2013 10-12noon or 7-9pm