‘The Rose beyond the wall…’

I came into my ‘New Dawn garden room’ this 'The Rose beyond the wall...'morning and an email appeared in front of me. It was from Helen Waller who I have commissioned to illustrate the jacket of my 2nd book.

I have been a little bit quiet for the past few months finishing writing the copy of my 2nd book ‘When a favourite flower dies in your garden’.

It went to edit last week and the exciting bit now starts for me as my words are inspiring Helen to first sketch then paint the back and front cover. Her work has of course become synonymous with my brand and I know the next jacket will add a new dimension and depth to my work.

This book creates the 2nd in what will eventually be a 6 boxed set of Life gardening gift books. Life here on earth gives us experiences that we need to navigate in a healthy way and I hope my words contribute positively to your journey. It’s my goal to provide a whole series that people can select when they need a bit of direction and inspiration.

This one is for people who have lost a loved one and it is my hope that it helps a little on the journey that is grief.

I can’t wait to share this piece of work with the world – it’s taken 3 years to get here and I know you will understand why I have been a little bit quiet.

I can’t share the new illustration yet but I thought I would share the incredible work Helen created for me in 2012 (there is a little clue in the title of this short blog).

Warm wishes to everyone x

Julie Signature2Butterfly photos from Book launchWho Are The Flowers In Your Garden Book Cover

Ps: The little girl in the picture was reading a from ‘Who are the flowers in your garden’ at my book launch with forever flower Annette O’Donnell

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Did I make you ‘pause for thought’?

The last blog I wrote before my little break in Dorset didn’t actually end up being posted. Instead, it ended up being recorded and sent last minute to Radio 2’s competition they were running for the next voice of ‘Pause for thought’ regularly featured on Vanessa Feltz show.

It has been said of me often that I make people ‘Pause for thought’ in my writing and the words I speak hence being a Relationship and Lifestyle coach. I just seem to find the right words (or rather they find me)!

Here is the transcript of my entry:

‘Pause for thought’ – Julie New

(Good egg with a big heart)!

 

I have been struggling this week to understand why my emotions have partly wanted me to stand still with my feet firmly in the past and another part pulling me forward, encouraging me to take steps into the world on my own.

 If my husband Rob was here now who died in November he would say to me

“What on earth are you waiting for”?

It is exactly a year since he went into hospital and the septicaemia meant he quickly became confused and vague which was one of the hardest things to cope with.

His mental brilliance and capacity to make one laugh at the most challenging of times was somehow lost in a sea of equipment and a battle that he eventually lost physically.

‘The New Dawn’ garden room was his space. It was somewhere he could just ‘BE…’ That is why on one wall I am having just that word embossed.

“How many of us take time to just BE”?

In the letter he wrote me entitled ‘A New Dawn’ in 2005 he talks of the continual mental and physical struggles he went through after his accident in 1992.

I have now laid his body to rest and I know he is in an amazing place in God’s garden.

The storm is over and he is dancing in heaven’s rain.

I must now do the same. Tiny steps, one foot in front of the other.

Just reading that has made me realise I can finally get off that rollercoaster and stand on solid ground again.

Everything we do is a choice; however God does have a plan for each and every one of us.

“I wonder what’s next”.

 My question to you this week is:

 Did I make you ‘pause for thought’?

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Who is special to you?

IMG_1295Yet again I got quite nervous and didn’t prepare till the last minute for an event I was taking part in this week.

On this occasion I was correct to be nervous as the venue I was attending held very significant memories for me AND the event was specifically aimed at celebrating and supporting carers in our locality.

I never saw myself as a carer for Rob my husband who passed away just a few short months ago. Other people did however I didn’t. In my book the synopsis written about me at the end says that I have what psychologists call unconditional positive regard. Simply put I always have an ability to meet everyone at the place they are at in their lives; don’t judge; and quite simply don’t see the differences someone may have.

My local pharmacy group waited a year to approach me to become their ‘patient ambassador’ and since yesterday I am beginning to see why they asked me.

Our first project together was to prepare for the carer’s fayre. We worked together well as a team and it came to me that I wanted to share my book with as many people as possible on the day.

Armed with my ‘water damaged stock’ I had the ability to give each carer a copy and write a personal message. Some were a bit taken aback at being given a gift BUT by the end of the day a lady came over and said a group of people were gathering and sharing their thoughts on the beautiful gift book they had been given. She said she really wanted one for herself.

So it went from people being almost suspicious of being ‘given a gift’ to people receiving the gift I was giving with an open heart and mind.

You see I never want anything in return for sharing the gifts I have and yet it is priceless. A rare and beautiful thing.

Probably the most significant thing I did yesterday was to connect with one of the visitors to the fayre. I thank my book for this because it connected us on a very deep level.

She knows her body is dying. She is on constant oxygen therapy and at times simply can’t breathe.

You may remember that the fayre was FOR carers and the thing that interested me was that she has been fighting against being ‘cared for’ because she has herself been a carer and nurturer all her life.

She is nor scared of dying but IS terrified of the pain it will cause her loved ones.

During our time together I explained her feelings were natural, HOWEVER she could maybe see this in a different way. Maybe the time she has left on earth she can finally receive the love and care from those around her.

She shared with me that she wants to die at home, however she didn’t know if this would be fair on her family and loved ones. Again I explained that if that was her wish and she was comfortable with that, so would her loved ones. Simply put if she was happy they would be happy.

We also laughed together as well because the Manor Pharmacy group support her and I guessed over the years she had one 1/2 of the stock and we had the other!! (my husband needed a lot of medication and equipment each month delivered by the lovely Phil). The lovely Lauren apparently always puts a smiley face on her boxes of tablets she dispenses weekly. I wish I had known about the boxes as it would have saved me so much time dispensing Rob’s cocktail each week!!!

My blog is slightly longer than normal because of this amazing lady. Hope you think she was worth hearing about – she was certainly worth meeting.

Julie’s question of the week:

Who do you need to tell how special they are to YOU?

Date for your diary:

Julie welcomes you with open arms through the doors of ‘A New Dawn garden room’ for a bit of Support, Friendship and Fun: Thursday 29th July 2013  10-12noon or 7-9pm

Contact me for more details

 

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What do you LOVE doing?

sunflower-butterflyA week ago today I buried most of my husband Rob’s ashes. It was a short but poiniant ceremony and his body is now at rest between his beloved Nan and Grandad who he adored.

Since then I have begun to read again. I have been an avid reader of books all my life, however at the most stressful times in my life I seem to stop being able to concentrate on a good book.

At church a couple of months ago a video was shown of Nick Vujicic being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and I was captivated by not only his physical presence but also his overriding positivity and zest for life. We have two very special bookshops in Letchworth Garden City and I was drawn to a basket of books including one by Nick called ‘Life without limits’.

The man I married had to go through a similar grieving process after losing the ability to walk age 32 HOWEVER he managed to overcome this as Nick has through his ability to shine from within whatever the weather.

I was just drawn to read a small but beautiful card from a nurse who played a central role in Rob’s last admission to hospital. She wrote: ‘I wanted to write personally and say how sorry I was at the passing of Rob. I also wanted to say that both individually and together as a couple you are inspiring and strong’.

As Nick says, take a long hard look in the mirror and you WILL see something special if you only believe in YOU.

I remain strong and positive despite the passing of Rob. His dreams remain my aims and I know that one day I will find that true happiness again. It is what he would want for me and I know I have so much love to share with someone special one day.

My first book ‘Who are the flowers in your garden?’ includes Rob’s inspirational story. I look forward to signing copies of it on Tuesday at a special day locally organised for carers. I never saw myself as his carer. Others did. To me he was just perfect.

Julie’s question of the week:

What do you LOVE doing?

 

NickVujicic

 

 

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Beyond The Trees

13370130113260531_vkG9IJeO_fA few Sunday’s ago I was feeling more and more anxious (I tend to get a bit like that recently when I am out of my comfort zone).

My good flower (friend) Annette had asked me in January to take part in a day she was creating to celebrate her 10th year in business running ArtsKool for kids in Hertfordshire: www.artskool-kids.com

She said I had been a very central part of her journey.

As the day approached I was a bit shocked to see that I was on the main flyer and I genuinely didn’t understand why until I woke up early Sunday morning. Here is the speech I wrote and delivered celebrating the achievements of such an amazing lady.

’10 years ago I walked into Boon Gallery in Welwyn Garden City. I was looking for art classes to give my daughter Amy for her 10th Birthday and I saw a tiny advert for a thing called ‘Artskool’.

I rang the number and Amy ended up attending weekly classes for 4 years. She then became an assistant helping with the children and I am very proud to say went on to get ‘A’ grade Art at both GCSE and A level GCSE. Amy is now at Plymouth University where she is studying to be a primary school teacher. Her major subject is of course Art!

7 years ago as I was picking Amy up from class Annette stopped me and said Amy had given her my sunflower business card and she was very interested in finding out more.

What interested me is that people will only find me when they are absolutely ready to move forward with their lives and make real and lasting change.

We met for coffee and for the first time I heard Annette’s inspirational story. She developed cancer in her mouth when her children were small and had to have major surgery and treatment leaving her with no ability to communicate effectively and her self esteem in shreds. She had been successful in her career as a TV producer and was now not even able to speak. Since Annette has also had the diagnosis of MS but she never complains or lets her health affect her attitude or resolve.

Art was her main form of escape and she began to do art more and more with her own kids and then their friends. This then grew too big for her home and the rest is history.

I think you’ll all agree a pretty awe inspiring and emotional journey.

This is my favourite testimonial written by Annette and one I still treasure and use today. You can read it here

Annette still invests in personal coaching and development today and many times has taken a central part in the days I have run inspiring adults as she does children.

She was at my wedding on New Year’s Eve 2011 when I married the most central tree in my life Rob and she was also at his funeral service in November. She has been a constant flower in my personal garden as well as my professional one.

THAT is a good friend and I am honoured to be here to celebrate the 10th Anniversay of Artskool.

Here is to the next 10!’

Julie’s questions of the week:  

  • Can you see the woods for the trees?
  • Which teacher inspired YOU?

Movie to inspire:

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To make everyone’s life better

makeeveryoneslifebetterFirstly I need to tell you I gained permission from my client to share the story in this week’s blog.

As I get stronger coaching clients are beginning to appear. It’s always interested me that when I have the time, space and positive energy that always happens. Life simply seems to flow and the same goes for my work.

The client who has appeared this week came to me originally in 2007. She had been encouraged to get in touch with me by a friend. She was going through a particularly challenging time in the relationship with her husband. She was ready to leave.

Early in their relationship she knew they weren’t suitable however, as often is the case we think things will change. We hope the initial throws of passion will return. Unfortunately they have just served to mask the reality that you aren’t a true love match.

She knew even on her wedding day that she wasn’t with someone who would feed her heart and soul. They went on to have 2 beautiful children and she gained her fulfilment in her specialism as a high level doctor in her chosen field.

Through investing in personal coaching she had space to explore who she was. Her value and purpose in the world. She continued to give her time each year to develop services in Africa.

What an amazing and beautiful woman she is…

I am privileged she has allowed me on the journey through life which has included not only her separation and divorce but also the death of her father and at the age of 93 her mother is at the end of her life on this earth and she has recently moved her to a nursing home locally.

Each morning at 7am she joins her mother for a special cup of tea and after long days at work in clinics with patients she goes and tucks her up at night.

The main reason for this blog is however not my client it is WALTER.

Walter is paralysed and lives at the home her mother is in. He makes it his mission to ensure everyone is made to feel welcome, loved and cared about. He has a natural gift of making people laugh and smile.

His own challenges don’t stop him from making a difference and he says it is his duty:

‘To make everyone’s life better…’

Good on you Walt…

Julie’s question of the week:

What are your special gifts?

Here is a video for you …

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Who inspires YOU?

WhoInspiresyouYesterday I checked my emails first thing and one of them immediately caught my eye as it was from someone I had met almost a year ago. As I read it I couldn’t help but cry with happy tears.

The email had come as a response to an invite I sent last week to special ‘flowers’ (people) in my garden (life) who I felt would enjoy an evening designed to ensure you know what you need to then enable YOU to take care of YOU and surround yourself with the right flowers, herbs, shrubs and trees (we all need different people in our lives to ensure we flourish and grow strong).

I will be last to speak at the event and Leana was writing to say she had booked her ticket and would see me there.

Honestly, if no one else comes to the event it will have been worthwhile to meet this special woman again. Rob was thrilled in 2011 when he heard we had got tickets for us to attend the Paralympic games at the Olympic park. A year on he was about to take a turn for the worst in hospital and wasn’t able to attend with me. I chose to take my dad who is passionate about sport and the effect it can have on someone’s life.

Standing by the lift waiting to go on the shuttle from St Pancras we met Leana and her husband. They were a beautiful couple and we enjoyed our time chatting with them. Leana was left paralysed in an accident at the age of 17 and her husband had also suffered a similar injury. He is now one of our most successful paralympic ski champions.

It was the first time Leana had left her two very young children and I could sense the excitement of the adventure/ date they were about to go on together. I had one of my coffee table gift books in my bag and before we parted company to enjoy our experience of the Olympic park I gave her the gift signed with a message.

She wrote in an email yesterday:

I’m so pleased your back doing your talks, you inspired me in just 10 mins on a train so I’m sure you will do a fabulous job Wednesday evening’

Leana – YOU inspired me that day – ‘Thank you…’

Julie’s question of the week:

  • Who inspires YOU?

Here is a little video for you to watch:

thebutterflyeffect

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What are you doing to ‘Water YOU’?

108313115I’ll be honest. The past few weeks I have felt a little overwhelmed.

You’ll probably relate to those times in life when one more thing just tips over the balance. It creates a feeling of unease and tension that just won’t go away.

Over the years I have realised that it is exactly at those times when we must take time to take care of ourselves. Instead we often look to blame other things or people for our feelings of tension and anxiety instead of quite simply giving ourselves time and space to connect with who we truly are. We can’t see the light anymore. Our vision and focus are temporarily obscured from view. How many of us know what we need in the relationship we have with ourselves and others? If we allow time and space for ourselves we begin to hear what that voice is saying. We hear what feels right for us.

I have recently given myself the gift of time with a very skilled coach. It will be for 6 months. I felt that after 4 years of giving my heart, soul and energy primarily to my husband who was progressively becoming more and more ill until he could hardly lift his head off the pillow and also my children who needed comfort, direction and focus after the untimely death of their father 4 years ago I would need that kind of support. When you have given a lot for a long time it is very easy to keep doing the same thing and repeat the pattern.

It is now time to discover even more about me. Reawaken why I am here, the job I am born to do, reconnect with my true purpose and the gifts I have to share with the world.

This of course doesn’t stop the life events going on around me but I know I have a job to do in the world and this time, space and serious ‘Watering’ will give me what I need.

Questions of the week:

  • When are you going to stop and take time to seriously ‘Water YOU’?
  • What are the special gifts you need to share with those around you?
  • Who will be lucky enough to benefit from those gifts?

Ps: I have agreed to speak inspirationally for the first time in a while. Hope you can come along to be inspired…

 

Being Kind to Yourself!  3 talks…for people who care…

Wednesday 19th June, at Mrs Howard Hall in Letchworth, 7.15pm. BOOK HERE!

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SAVE AVA’s EAR!

AvaAs many of you will know I’m a bit of an animal lover and interestingly I’ve noticed that twitter AND face book seem to be full of people with all kinds of pets.

The main love does seem to be for dogs. Graham Norton has beautiful dogs he adores and of course the lovely Paul O Grady has part of his radio 2 show dedicated to the loss of a beloved pet along with the other shows he does highlighting the need for rehoming pets that have been abandoned at Battersea. I recently read Claire Balding’s book ‘My animals and other family’. She really made me howl with laughter as she described the various dogs, horses and also she and her brother Andrew’s antics as they grew up. I tweeted Claire one night telling her that she really reminded me of Sophie in the Dick King Smith books he wrote about a little girl who wanted to be a ‘lady farmer’ when she grew up! Her writing style also reminded me of Dick King Smith. She replied ‘thank you!!’. If you have a young reader in the house these books are a good read. So is Claire’s book.

You may recall my blog ‘lucky Becky’. Well I am pleased to report that she is now called Poppy and is in a wonderful home LOVING her life.

This week however I must report on a story that really caught my attention. Little Ava the beautiful, cute and adorable yorkie puppy who ended up in foster care from a doggie rescue sanctuary.

She is apparently the most beautiful pup with one big challenge. If her ear isn’t operated on she will have to be put to sleep. The foster carer adores her and has begun raising funds through cake sales and so on to:

‘SAVE AVA’s EAR’ 

As of yesterday 27% of the money has been raised for Ava to have the £3,000 op she so desperately needs.

My Ben is asleep next to me as I write this and I know how sad I would be if the same thing was happening to him.

If all my followers on twitter and Facebook gave just £1.40 each it would save her life…

‘Can you help?’

Save Ava’s ear?

Click Here

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A ‘Home from Home’

HomeSweetHome

For the past few weeks I have been travelling quite a lot. It has been lovely seeing special flowers (friends), learning new things and meeting new people however as the saying goes in the wizard of Oz: ‘There’s no place like home…’ and in our house the kettle is always on!

I am lucky enough to have a beautiful home in Hertfordshire and I wanted to share with you this week how I came to live here and what I plan to add to the space we already have in preparation for the work I was born to do.

I have always had nice homes to live in. A friend once said to me that you make a ‘home’ wherever you are and to a certain extent she is right. Honestly, I didn’t always feel happy inside my home because the person I chose to spend much of my adult life with – we past each other like ships in the night. I was succeeding at creating a happy home for my children but not for me.

In 2005 I started working with my father to earn a bit of extra money while I finished my coaching course. It involved helping people to find accommodation when they were working away from home. The business had originated from my parent’s B&B. It was always full and my father didn’t like to turn anyone away and so started referring people to other homes. They gave people a ‘home from home’ something so precious for the 1000s who have had the pleasure to stay with them over the years http://www.a1bedandbreakfastnetwork.co.uk/links_guest_house_6.html  (we still have to book if we want to stay)!!

Just before leaving nursing one of my team encouraged me to come and meet her landlord. She was soon to be leaving her room and he was going to need someone new to fill the room. As I walked through the door I immediately felt ‘at home’. I felt comfortable and at ease and when I met the owner of the house I could sense why this was such a special place. He was warm, friendly and very funny! I did indeed find him a lovely new tenant called Deirdre who was working at the local space agency during her final law degree. She LOVED her time in his home.

However, little did he or I know that within two years he would be invaded by a readymade family including guinea pigs, Labrador, and tinkerbell the hamster! Poor Rob, his life indeed changed forever!

The resounding feeling I had when I walked into his home all those years ago was one of ‘coming home’. A comfortable, safe feeling of belonging, peace and total happiness. That feeling remains today even though Rob himself is of course no longer here physically.

When my girls father passed away in 2009 it was only right that Rob should have a space of his own and we created a very large garden office for him to work and play!!! It became an office/workshop in the 1/8th of an acre we are lucky enough to have.

He loved that space and it has been coming to me strongly that it is his gift to me to make it mine. Somewhere I can go and relax, enjoy the work I love with my clients and also provide them with a tranquil haven to BE. I found a beautiful chair in Oxford that has formed the basis of the design and the garden is also being slowly developed and shaped into areas of running water, solace and enjoyment.

It will be finished by autumn and I can’t wait to welcome YOU here – a ‘home from home…’ for you to enjoy. The kettle will of course be on!

Julie’s question of the week:

Is your home a tranquil haven of peace and love?

What change do you need to make in order to bring peace and happiness into your life?

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